Forgiveness paves the way for moving forward and establishing a groundwork for a more promising future. In professional environments, cultivating a culture of forgiveness can significantly enhance the health and efficacy of workgroups, mainly when co-workers’ misdemeanours are minor and collaboration is crucial. However, a study by Michael Haselhuhn, an associate professor of management at UC Riverside, reveals that traditional notions of masculinity can obstruct the capacity to forgive.

The research highlights that the more men value projecting a masculine image, the less inclined they are to forgive colleagues for offences such as failing to attend crucial meetings. This reluctance stems from the perception that forgiveness is a trait associated with femininity, as discovered by Haselhuhn and his collaborator, Margaret E. Ormiston of George Washington University.

Moreover, the study indicates that men who are hesitant to forgive are more likely to engage in vengeful actions or to avoid the offender altogether. Such behaviours contribute to a toxic and less productive workplace atmosphere, and these men also tend to regard forgiving men as less masculine.

Interestingly, the research identifies a straightforward intervention that could mitigate the unforgiving tendencies linked to masculinity concerns. Men who were particularly sensitive about their masculine identity showed a greater willingness to forgive once they had the opportunity to recount a few instances where they felt they truly embodied ‘real men’.

Haselhuhn and Ormiston’s investigation began with the understanding that men generally exhibit less forgiveness than women and that those who forgive often possess qualities like warmth, community orientation, and nurturing—traits typically considered feminine. “Therefore, we hypothesised that forgiveness might carry gender-specific connotations, potentially leading those who forgive to be perceived as more feminine and less masculine,” Haselhuhn explained.

The researchers based their study on activities involving over 800 participants. They assessed the participants’ masculinity levels by having them evaluate the stressfulness of various scenarios that might threaten their masculine identity, such as their partner earning more than they do, losing a sporting event, or being seen crying by their child.

Participants then engaged in simulations where a co-worker committed an offence, like missing a critical client meeting, leading to loss of business. They were questioned on their propensity to forgive. As anticipated, men anxious about their masculine image were less likely to ignore it.

Haselhuhn noted, “The more they worried about their masculine image, the more they desired to retaliate against the co-worker, and the more they preferred to avoid the individual altogether.”

However, when these men were allowed to articulate two instances where they felt particularly masculine, such as scoring in sports or surpassing competitors, their willingness to forgive increased. In a twist, when asked to recount ten such ‘manly’ moments, many struggled, became frustrated, and showed less forgiveness than those who described just two events.

The findings from the study “Fragility and Forgiveness: Masculinity Concerns Affect Men’s Willingness to Forgive,” published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, contribute to the ongoing research to improve interpersonal relations. “Forgiving not only boosts mental and physical health but also significantly enhances relationships with others as opposed to seeking vengeance or avoiding the person who wronged you,” added Haselhuhn. This underscores the multifaceted benefits of forgiveness in both personal and professional contexts.

More information: Michael Haselhuhn et al, Fragility and forgiveness: Masculinity concerns affect men’s willingness to forgive, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. DOI: 10.1016/j.jesp.2024.104626

Journal information: Journal of Experimental Social Psychology Provided by University of California – Riverside